Judgmental tones were used in my speaking, teaching, etc as a means to motivate my own self to holiness. Rather than crying out for the Holy Spirit to give me grace to endure, I heaped loads of guilt upon others, weighing them down with burdens rather than causing the hope to come to life, & the Holy Spirit to take His proper role as the seal upon their hearts. In really basic terms I was striving to cover up blatant sin & motivate myself out of it by leaping on & off of the backs of others. Lord forgive me. My salvation theology was messed up along with God's mission through scripture. Which in turn caused my heart to get messed up and filthy on the inside, leaving my outside looking clean most of the time. I was good at making legitimate excuses (not really) for the things I said.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matt. 23:25-28What a turning of tables it has been for me. God is still at work on the inside of me and Psalm 15, one of the first chapters that empowered me into a radical pursuit for the Lord way back when, has now began to grip my heart once again at a whole new level. In fact, much of the Word has.
A Psalm of David. O Lord , who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill (in the next age)? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; Ps. 15:1,2Lord, continue to give me the grace to speak the truth in my heart, that I might be with you for eternity. Continue to root me and ground me in Your love by the power of Your Holy Spirit for the trials that are coming at the end of the age. Lord, I see the contractions, but may I make it through the labor with my heart intact for you, and be birthed into the next age with my resurrection body given unto life! May prayer remain central to this internship of a life, that I might access grace to live a holy life, overcome and be a conqueror in the end. Amen.
